I hate to admit to such poor taste, but recently I was watching a certain TV show in which brides try on wedding dresses before an entourage of friends and family members who often seem all too eager to rip their self-esteem to shreds. If there’s anything good to be said about this show, it’s that it provides valuable lessons in how not to behave. All that aside, I was horrified the other night when the mother of a hapless bride criticized her dress, saying that it needed more embezzlement. “Embellishment!” I shouted to the screen. “Embellishment, not embezzlement!” The usage crime went unnoticed by the bride or anyone else for that matter, and I wonder what I would have done if, God forbid, I’d been sitting in that bridal salon with that unpleasant family. Although I wouldn’t have shouted the way I did to the TV, I would have been awfully tempted to say something, even a meek and mild “Um, did you happen to mean embellishment, perchance?”
Outside the context of teaching or editing, is it ever all right to point out errors in English? Being a polite Canadian, I seldom do it. But being an editor, I’m always dying to. Honestly, I hate to see the English language abused, and I think it’s vital that people make the effort to speak and write correctly. If I didn’t think this way, I wouldn’t be doing what I do. As well, when you edit people’s writing for a living, it’s sometimes hard to fall out of the habit of pointing out mistakes. And so my polite Canadian self is invariably at war with my editor self, generating a lot of inner turmoil whenever I hear someone mangling the language. Of course, in this matter of correcting versus not correcting, context is everything. I’ll tactfully point out errors to my Russian friend at the dog park because she’s told me before that she wants to speak better English. She’s never taken offence, so no harm done. But you’re really putting your neck on the line when you choose to correct people you don’t know all that well, no matter how politely you do it.
Recently, I attended a networking event and was sitting beside a woman I’d chatted with perhaps once or twice before. She was promoting a book she’d written and showed me a postcard that summarized the plot. She knows I’m an editor, and she pointed out an error in the postcard to me. I read the rest of it and noticed an ungrammatical, wordy sentence that was actually much more of a heinous crime than the typo she’d noticed. Hesitantly, I told her it was ungrammatical and then went on to suggest a better sentence she could use in its place. With this act, I extinguished all joy. She just looked at me grimly, and a profoundly awkward silence passed between us. In her mind, I had committed a serious faux pas, and we barely spoke another word to each other for the rest of the event.
The way I see it, by pointing out the first error, she opened the door for me and I merely walked through it. And I said what I did in the spirit of helpfulness; I could see how the postcard could be improved, and thought I should take the opportunity to tell her how to do it. But perhaps I’m wrong about the appropriateness of my actions. What would you have done if you’d been in my situation? Have you ever pointed out someone’s error to his or her face, only to have it backfire? Is it ever right, outside the context of editing someone’s writing or teaching them about the language, to point out errors?
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I think it’s something many of us struggle with. I usually err on the side of keeping my mouth shut, especially with people I don’t know well. If it’s someone I’m quite friendly with and I notice something on, say, their website, I will let them know as tactfully as I can. I’ve certainly published my fair share of typos on my own blog — it’s incredible to me that I so often to don’t notice them until after I’ve clicked “publish”! — and I do appreciate it when someone drops me a line and says “Hey, you might want to fix this.” Context and existing relationship are everything.
I always appreciate it when someone points out an error I’ve made, but editors are usually fine with it, I find, because we don’t want to look bad. It would be great if more writers could adopt this mindset too. Like you, Debra, I’m usually pretty careful about when I correct people.
As a former teacher, I also suffer from “correctophilia”. I agree it’s a dangerous malady. But sometimes corrections are well received. I walked into a bar one afternoon to suggest they correct their chalkboard advertising “leak soup”. When I told the girl at the bar that “l-e-a-k ” is what guys go to take, she was pleased to change the sign.
That’s funny, Isobel! Yes, context is everything.
Really! I believe it was very considerate of you to try and assist the woman author. If she can’t take helpful input from a professional editor, there’s a rude wake-up call in her future! I’ve learned that critics and readers have NO problems pointing out what they don’t like about an author’s work, even if it’s not in the genre that they enjoy reading. Why someone who loves mysteries-crime or horror stories would pick up a fantasy novel and then be surprised that they didn’t enjoy it and trash the work, is beyond me! But it’s done every day… Just go to Amazon or Goodreads and take a look. Most readers have open review files.
Don’t be upset, Caroline. Consider this an Internet ‘hug’ for you! There are many of us who appreciate everything professional editors do for us!!! Where would we be without you?
I was trying to correct in a gentle way, but that didn’t seem to matter in this case. I appreciate the hug, Lynne, and definitely need it today (it must be the lingering effects of the full moon or something). I’m sorry that you’re finding people being critical and even rude in print. Many have no problem doing this, I suppose, saying things they’d never say to someone in person. It’s truly unfortunate.
I agree with Debra. I think this is a fine line most editors walk, and inevitably we occasionally get it wrong. Just last week I felt like a complete toad by (in what I thought was a joking tone) pointing out an error in a link someone posted on FB. The person — an editor I might add — was not amused. That got me thinking that even among editors, it’s almost never okay to correct another person or, by association, even a link they post.
I love an analogy my cousin-in-law made. He’s a home builder, and the first thing he can’t help but spot when he walks into someone’s home is cracks, uneven joins, and poor workmanship and construction. But unless it’s a client, he’s trained himself to keep his mouth shut. Most people don’t want to hear about their poorly constructed home — or their poorly constructed sentences!
The analogy is a good one, Arlene. It’s best to err on the side of caution. If in doubt, hold back.
Hi Caroline ~
You raise a great topic for writers and editors. I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut unless I’m actually working on a project. And as Debra has said, I’ve been shocked at the glaring mistakes I’ve made just after I’ve hit the “Publish” button for my blog posts.
But don’t take any offence at this woman. You explained to me the context of this woman’s behaviour. She kept talking with you while you were diligently trying to take notes. She proved she was rude, not you.
At least one can always fix one’s glaring mistakes after publishing a blog post–hopefully before anyone can point them out!
Personally, I love to English. Most of the people I know don’t really share my passion, though, so I refrain from correcting them when they do it wrong. Sometimes, though, I just can’t keep my mouth shut. My wife recently got a new job, so I decided to check out the company’s website. I almost got through the whole thing before I fired off an e-mail to my wife’s boss begging her to let me fix it. Fortunately, it’s a small business (only three people) and it was all very personable. I can’t imaging what would have happened to my wife had her boss been more sensitive, though. I’m rambling. The point: More goodly Englishing makes for business better, so those of us with the gift should always seek to help those around us better themselves. Does that sound as pretentious as it did when I just read it? Oh, well. I can live with pretentious.
Sir, you use the word “though” as though it’s going out of style. Also, you mean amicable, not personable.
It does, in fact, sound altruistic. You offered to save them from the potential damaging effects of their errors, such as looking silly. I’d say it was darn nice of you, Robert. Did they take you up on the offer, by the way?
Growing up with a mother who pointed out everyone’s misuse or mispronunciation of words, it trained me to hear infractions but to cringe at the thought of correcting someone. Your post made me smile because still, at the ripe old age of 92, she is correcting errors that she hears on the TV.
Recently on a real estate forum of which I am a member, an acquaintance wrote a post that drew a lot of attention, but said “surly guests” instead of “surely guests.” I sent her a very kind, very gentle private message and suggested that she might want to change it because her post was getting so much attention, and that the meaning of the misspelling was quite different than what she intended. She sent me back a very nice message telling me to mind my own business, and she never did change it.
Under the circumstances, I would have done what you did. It was definitely in her best interest that her postcard be as appealing as possible. Great post. It’s the era of texting and Twitter . . . sometimes they just don’t get it
I’d certainly want to know if I’d committed an error such as the one you describe, but that’s just me. I would fear the damaging effects of looking like a careless writer or a nimrod and would simply make the correction if someone pointed it out. You approached the person who wrote “surly guests” in the best possible way, Mimi. I’m surprised that the reception to your concern wasn’t more gracious. It seems that sometimes no matter how nice or diplomatic you are, people still manage to take offence. I suppose some people can’t abide even the slightest bit of criticism, however well meaning.